I Bought All Of The “Everything” Seasoned Products At My Local Trader Joe’s: A Review

When Trader Joe’s first released its wildly popular Everything But The Bagel seasoning in 2017, I scoured the shelves of multiple stores trying to find it. As a lifelong everything bagel fan and Trader Joe's devotee, I was beyond thrilled at the thought of seasoning various foods with the delicious blend of seeds and spices. I had been following several TJ's fan accounts on Instagram, searching for the latest scoop on product launches, and when I finally did acquire the sought-after seasoning, I was ecstatic. It has maintained a place of pride on my spice rack ever since.

Since the release of the famed EBTB seasoning, Trader Joe's has created several other "everything" seasoned products. Today, I took it upon myself to purchase every single one available at my local store. I’d previously tried a few “everything” snacks, including the Everything But The Bagel Potato Chips, which I was unfortunately disappointed with. There were also, however, a few foods I had yet to try. This trip yielded five products for me to taste test (I skipped the original seasoning since I already have it): Greek yogurt dip, smoked salmon, cashew and almond nut duo, crackers, and straight-up everything bagels.

First off, I tried the original, the one and only, the product that inspired it all: the everything bagel. I toasted one and had it for breakfast with vegan cream cheese, also from Trader Joe’s. It was a pretty solid everything bagel, but I have to say I was wishing it had more seasoning. The flavor and texture were better, however, than other grocery store bagels, so I’d consider that a win. I’m giving it 6/10 - I’d probably buy them again.

While I had a bagel and cream cheese in front of me, I figured I’d try the smoked salmon as well. To be totally honest, this was my first time eating this kind of smoked salmon (I’m from the Pacific Northwest, so the smoked salmon I've had before is typically hot smoked). I was a little nervous, but I was pleasantly surprised by the flavor. It was a nice balance of smoke and everything bagel flavors. The texture wasn’t my favorite, but I’m sure that’s just my own problem and that anyone who likes smoked salmon would find this worth a try. For that reason, I’ll give it a 7/10.

Next up was the Everything But The Bagel Nut Duo. I loved this one! There was a serious amount of seasoning on all of the nuts, and I think almonds and cashews were the perfect choices for this tasty snack. If anything, I think pistachios would’ve been a nice addition, but this nut duo does stand up on its own. It’s an 8/10 from me!

To be honest, I’d had the Bite Size Everything Crackers before and I don’t usually buy them anymore simply because I love them so much and have been known to eat handfuls at a time. These things are like my kryptonite. They’re scarily delicious - I may or may not be elbow-deep in the box as I write this. The flavor profile is slightly different than the original Everything But The Bagel seasoning; I find it to be a little sweeter with a much stronger note of caraway seeds, which I personally love. These have to get a 10/10 from me since they’re so good they’re honestly dangerous.

Last but (maybe?) not least, we have the Greek yogurt dip. I had high hopes for this one, but I have to admit it was a little underwhelming. It pretty much tastes like Greek yogurt with a little bit of everything bagel seasoning. You could probably easily recreate it with just those two ingredients. I ate it with the Crisp Crunchy Crisps (which I usually dip in the Vegan Caramelized Onion Dip - I highly recommend that combo) and it was a little bland. I tried dipping the Everything Crackers in the yogurt dip and found that helped a lot. The Greek yogurt complemented the crackers and it ended up with a one-two punch of “everything” flavor. Ultimately, I’d give the yogurt dip a 4/10 since it was pretty boring.

Overall, I think what I’ve learned from this experiment is that Trader Joe’s has a wide assortment of “everything” seasoned snacks for whatever your taste may be. I would not be at all surprised if they continued to expand their “everything” offerings in the future, and I for one will be anxiously awaiting the arrival of each new product. And if anyone at Trader Joe’s is looking for suggestions, I might have some ideas (hummus, anyone?